Thirty Seven Ways to be Seductive with a Man
by Perry Brass
One
of my prime feelings lately is that too many gay men have lost the
talent of being seductive. A generation or two ago, it seemed to go
with the territory. Maybe too many of us had seen too many old movies
and knew the moves that the stars of old used, to keep them stars—but
seduction I feel has become a lost art, but one that with a little
practice
we can bring back again.
So to
reacquaint you with it, I offer 37 ways to be seductive—and get what
you really want, though in a nice way.
1) Repeat his
name after you hear it. Then say, “I like your name.” Even if you don’t
and his name is Jerky McSmirk, say it. Then smile a bit, but make sure
he does not feel that you are laughing at him.
2) Ask him
what he does with his time that is important to him. Almost every man
loves to talk about his work—and even if he doesn’t, he will have
something that he likes to do with his time and is waiting for someone
to ask.
3) Keep his
hand in yours for more than moment, but not long enough to embarrass
him if he is embarrassed by public displays of affection.
4) Touch him
behind the ear or neck. Very gently.
5) Get close
enough to him that he can smell your breath, and make sure that your
breath is worth smelling.
6) Tell you
like . . . the way he smells, his skin feels, his eyes look—something
completely personal.
7) Invite him
to sit down with you.
8) Invite him
to stand up, go to the bar, go outside for a breath of air; anything,
just invite him to do it, so he knows you are including him in your
plans.
9) Ask him
how he feels. And repeat the question often. In most of “normal” life,
no one cares how men feel. It is considered uncool to ask. Don’t be
afraid of being uncool. Cool is for kids. Warm is for men.
10) Ask him
to taste what you are drinking. And then smile.
11) Offer to
buy him a drink. Or, if not a drink, then something else. Don’t offer
this to reciprocate for something he has already done; make it a
freewill offering. If it is simply tit-for-tat (whatever the hell that
means), it loses a lot of its seductive power and even your tit may
start to pale compared to his tat.
12) If you
offer him a business card (and people do nowadays), write something on
the back of it that is personal, even if it’s just your signature and
“call.”
13) Touch his
hair or forehead lightly with your fingers and smile while you’re doing
this.
14) Sophia
Loren was once asked who was the most seductive man she had ever met.
“Cary Grant. We met on a plane. What struck me immediately was how he
smelled, with a very subtle citrus cologne, and how nice his manners
were. So many men use bad manners to seduce, and that’s bad.”
Learn
something from that.
15) Wherever
you are, find an excuse to invite him outside for a moment. Then enjoy
the fact that the two of you are breathing the same air without a
lot of other people breathing it.
16) Invite
him to your—whatever. Apartment, palatial estate in Hoboken, hotel
room, or even the curb where your car is parked, or the curb next to
the subway entrance. But make sure he knows this invitation comes from
you personally.
17) Ask him
out for something. If he asks if this is a “date,” say, “No, but I just
thought we’d get to know each other and have fun.”
18) There is
nothing so seductive as a man who knows when to laugh at the right
time. Never laugh at him,
unless of course the whole situation at some
point becomes so absurd that even while laughing at him, you are really
laughing at yourself.
19) At some
point make sure that your cheek is close to his. You can do this by
getting close enough to him to whisper into his ear. There is something
tingling and nice about having someone whisper into your ear anyway,
but having your cheek next to his cheek means that you are inviting
intimacy, something that most men find appealing, even if they are not
capable of doing it themselves.
20) When he
shows up at your apartment, tell him how much nicer he looks without a
lot of people around him.
21) Don’t
expect him to sit next to you his first time in your “space”; allow him
to have some other alternative seating. And don’t take offense if he
does not sit with you. He may be too shy to plump down next to you when
he hardly knows you.
22) But this
should not keep you from approaching him and smiling.
23) Always
offer a man something to eat. It may be light, but it should have some
texture to it. If he’s nervous at your first meeting, having something
like celery or carrots around for munchies can be good. Don’t just
offer him a drink. Although “liquor is quicker,” it often makes men
feel out of control.
24) Sex and
intimacy are great appetite suppressants, which is probably the reason
why so many people are over-weight now: they don’t get enough of
either. So if things heat up, dinner can wait.
25) Admire
something he’s wearing, then tell him how much better he might look
without it.
26) Don’t
jump all over him. Let him have a moment to enjoy the intimacy of
physical closeness with you. Sexual dysfunction is now on the rise, and
part of that may be that people expect too much to happen too fast, in
an already stressful, work-driven culture. So no matter what “deed”
happens, enjoy the fact that he is there enjoying you.
27) Ask him,
“Is there anything we can do that would make you more comfortable?” If
he hesitates, then tell him what would you more comfortable.
28) Try
taking off your shoes, and then his.
29) Massage
his shoulders. Most men carry huge tension in them. Use a light touch,
and don’t try to do anything unexpected that would surprise or bother
him.
30) Point out
something around the apartment or space that interests you, and talk
about it in a way that can bring him into the picture. (“Do you have
anything like that? What do you usually show your friends?”)
31) Turn the
music to something that is soft, no matter what your taste in sound is.
Never make either of you talk over the music, and if the news is on
turn it off.
32) Bring out
some pictures to look at it. And invite him to sit closer to you.
33) When you
are sitting closer, have at least one part of your body (an elbow,
knee, hand, or shoulder) touch his.
34) If you
offer him something to eat, give him a moment to try it without being
all over him. Seduction requires a moment for him to enjoy being near
you without you being aggressive about it. So, draw away form him for a
moment while he eats. Or drinks.
35) If you
feel that he is withdrawing from you (and sometimes this happens from
nerves or self-consciousness), then take a breather. Don’t get into his
face, but back off a bit, and then come back with (in a nice,
non-threatening way): “What’s your day been like?” Get him to talk.
Again, most men are never asked about their feelings or themselves
unless it has to do with work and is done in a threatening or
challenging way. So the
fact that you are not asking in a threatening way is wonderful.
36) Touch his
shoulders gently. And then work your way up to his ear or face: gently.
Kiss him, but not on the lips. Now start to touch his chest, and
unbutton a button or two. After unbuttoning a few buttons, stop, kiss
him, then begin unbuttoning or removing more.
37) Tell him
you did not expect him to look so good with his clothes off. And then
say, “I really like your shoulders (or chest, or neck, or arms, or . .
. ). Most men love have their bodies complimented. And, if he does have
a great body, and it’s too obvious that he’s spent a lot of time on it,
try: “You should keep your clothes off all the time.” In other words,
you are not so foolishly “cool” and self-involved that you are going to
ignore something that means a lot to him.
I know you have seduction tips of your own. Want to share them with the
seduction challenged? Drop me a line about them at belhuepress@earthlink.net.
Home away from home.
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